Dad punishes 13-year-old daughter for calling her classmate "poor" by making her go to school with extremely bad hygiene for 3 days: 'No shower, no deodorant, no brushing of teeth, and reused clothes'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 3, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

There is a fine line between a harsh punishment and an unacceptable one. I understand that teens can misbehave in a way that requires harsh punishment, but that doesn't mean that their parents should hire strangers to kidnap them from their rooms in the middle of the night and live off the land with a group of other "troubled teens" and uncertified shady counselors. Of course, not all wilderness therapy is bad. Still, there's a significant difference between an adult participating in it willingly to improve themselves and parents forcing their children to sleep in the wilderness for over a year because they misbehaved. 

A lot of parents are willing to increase the severity of a punishment when they don't think anything else has worked. But there's always that one dad who will go to the greatest possible extreme when his kid does something that is barely even worth a punishment in the first place.

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my husband if he forces his daughter to go to school with poor hygiene as punishment, I will divorce him?

    (41f) have a daughter (10f) from a previous relationship and my husband (35m) has a daughter (13f) from a previous relationship. My stepdaughter has been the near-perfect child for a long time. She hasn't ever needed to be punished since I've with her father, until recently. She had a
    via u/Gloomy_Delay8773

  • The dad in this story is one of those dads. He wanted to force his 13-year-old daughter to go without showering for three days as a punishment for calling her classmate “poor” after she made fun of her mom. His wife strongly disagreed and took to the internet to find a more appropriate punishment. 

  • 02
    problem with another girl (13f) at school. The other girl made fun of my stepdaughter's "lesbian" mom and my stepdaughter made fun of the other girl's "poor" mom. The parents of the other girl grounded her for 3 weeks. My husband wanted his daughter's punishment to match the crime.
    via u/Gloomy_Delay8773
  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10513221632
    via Den Trushtin

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    Since his daughter make fun of the other girl's financial situation, my husband wants his daughter feel like how it is to be extremely poor. The other family isn't extremely poor, by the way. His
    via u/Gloomy_Delay8773
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10513234688
    via Dylan Michaud

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    plan for his daughter is to go to school with poor hygiene, for 3 days. No shower, no deodorant, no brushing of teeth, and reused clothes. I told him if he goes through with this plan, I will divorce him. Am I the a hle?
    via u/Gloomy_Delay8773
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10513242112
    via Jon Stebbe

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    shbrinnnn Poor people have poor Hygiene? I grew up poor. Guess what? We brushed our teeth, had baths, used deodorant, and wore clean clothes. We also had a roof over our heads. NTA -- but your husband is.
    via u/shbrinnnn
  • 09
    Apetitmouse If anything it was prioritized at our house. Just because you are poor doesn't mean you look/act poor.
    via u/Apetitmouse
  • 10
    heliosdiem Yeah not only is it ab ive it's classist. No wonder the daughter used "poor" as a derogatory slur. Look at who raised her
    via u/heliosdiem
  • 11
    Chuc-mosher A better punish me soul be take away her cel and technology because you" can't afford it also no money for anything or wo volunteering st a food bank
    via u/Chuc-mosher
  • 12
    Medusa_7898 Humiliation is not punishment, it's cruelty. Thank you for defending your stepdaughter from that. You are NTA.
    via u/Medusa_7898
  • 13
    68ideal It's not even "just" humiliation anymore, this is straightup child ab e. Especially the teeth part is actively harmful.
    via u/68ideal
  • 14
    voiceofmyownsanity What he wants to do will guarantee a call from CPS. It is neglect and ab e. If he wants to punish and teach a lesson, have her volunteer and learn what a real struggle is. Take away privileges not basic necessities.
    via u/voiceofmyownsanity
  • 15
    And while his daughters retort was wrong, it was in response to taunting and homophobia about her mother. Does he still harbor resentment for his ex that he is glossing over his daughter was a victim of bu ying first? Victims can only take so much before they snap.
    via u/voiceofmyownsanity
  • 16
    onthe_interwebs It's like he conveniently forgot his daughter was defending herself. It's not like she said anything bad, she's a kid and they say much worse when they think there's no adult in earshot. Poor is less of an insult and more of an eye rolling statement that could mean anything and is still irrelevant and stupid. Just talk to her, don't humiliate her! He had to be wanting to get her for something to go to this extreme after the smallest non conflict.
    via u/onthe_interwebs
  • 17
    strawbeebop That's humiliation. Sh like that gets kids taken away from their parents. Does he want to get CPS called on him?
    via u/strawbeebop
  • 18
    peaceonkauai If I was her school nurse and she came to me with that scenario, it would've been my obligation to call CPS. That is child ab e, not educational. This is very disturbing..... beware.
    via u/peaceonkauai
  • 19
    Spoogly Besides all that, she's 13. If she's smart, she'll just continue to not have good hygiene everywhere they go just to say f you to Dad. Yes, it's ab e, dumb way to punish a and yes, it's intentionally humiliating your child. But it's also a really teen.
    via u/Spoogly
  • 20
    Justexhausted_61 NTA what is wrong with him?
    via u/Justexhausted_61
  • 21
    vinegargirl757 Someone with too much time on their hands and thinks its cute come up with tiktok-like punishments that degrade and demean people who are in actual financial straights. OP, your husband isn't teaching his daughter a lesson, he's being a bu y. NTA
    via u/vinegargirl757
  • 22
    Cebuanolearner Why not make her volunteer at a shelter/food bank. Dad is being an a hle
    via u/Cebuanolearner
  • 23
    Gloomy_Delay8773 OP I will suggest that idea to him. Either that and/or grounding his stepdaughter for 3 weeks. I still remember one day in high school when I forgot to dear deodorant and I had gym. I'm 41, and I still remember. I can't imagine also having no shower, bad breath, and reusing clothes.
    via u/Gloomy_Delay8773
  • 24
    Competing VogonPoet STOP MAKING THIS SUGGESTION. I run a not-for-profit, and I do not accept kids who were volun-told by their parents. This does a disservice to both the agencies and the clients who rely on us. We do not want your a_h_le kids. We're not here to teach them empathy-that's your parents. job as
    via u/Competing_VogonPoet
  • 25
    These types of volunteers are the worst. They don't want to be there, they whine when asked to do even the simplest tasks, and they drag down the entire environment. It takes away from the experience of people who genuinely want to help, and it's unfair to the clients who absolutely do not deserve to be dealing with whiny, sulking brats. So stop suggesting it. Just stop.
    via u/Competing_VogonPoet

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stepmother school kids middle school teenagers raising daughters stepmom daughters stepdaughter raising teens dad punishment daughter children Father
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